How to take an actually restful vacation

I did the research so you can relax

6 min readJul 23, 2024

It’s mid July, which means we’re halfway through the summer. Have you taken a vacation yet? Was it… good? Vacations can be a little like Christmas: We tend to build these events up, so when things don’t go exactly according to plan or meet our expectations, we often leave feeling frustrated and disappointed. We’ve all been on bad vacations before — too expensive, moody company, lost luggage, bad weather — there’s a lot that can get you down. So how do we take an actually relaxing vacation? Is it possible? This was one of my top questions while researching Rest Easy.

Whether you plan to get away for two weeks or two days, here are ten tips for making your vacation truly restful.

Pick an environment that brings you ease and calm — or energizes you. Do you want to be immersed in nature or energized by an urban adventure? Are you the type of person who loves hotel room service and dining out, or do you favor cooking something up yourself in a rental instead? Think about the people, places, and things that make you feel most relaxed. How might you incorporate these elements into your vacation planning? You’ll likely need to compromise on some areas, especially if you’re traveling with others, but it’s a good practice to know what you want to get out of this vacation. Start there.
Ease into it. It can be difficult to abruptly change from work (stress) mode to vacation (relaxation) mode. Give yourself a buffer day (or more) to get into the vacation spirit. Take it slow on the first few days of your vacation, knowing it may take you a moment to mentally unplug.
Be wary of over-planning. Some people love to plan every minute of their vacation, but remember: The point is to have fun and relax. For many of us, a packed itinerary sounds good ahead of time, but stressful the day of. If Present You would balk at visiting two museums and eating out three meals in a single day, Future You will feel the same. Be careful not to overdo it when planning your itinerary. How many activities can you manage in a day without getting exhausted? Think about what your magic number is before your vacation starts, and it’s likely to be much more restful.
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Pack a palette cleanser. Seeing new things, trying new foods, and exploring new places can be invigorating — but also overstimulating. Remember that your senses may need a break, and pack a palette cleanser for when things start to feel more overwhelming than fun. For example, try ear plugs for a moment of silence, an eye mask to enjoy a little bit of darkness, a calming playlist, or even a familiar snack, scent, or article of clothing that brings you comfort.
Turn off work email. Many of us have a habit of refreshing our email even when we’re off the clock; some of us even blend our work inboxes and personal inboxes in the same app. Don’t get dragged back into a work mindset while on vacation. Turn off your work email and delete Slack, Gmail, or other messaging apps that may get in the way of staying in vacation mode.
Be present. Visiting a new place is exciting — there’s so much to explore, where to begin? But in our desire to see it all, we can forget to stay present and savor the moment. Instead of enjoying a meal or museum, we may already be planning the next stop or thinking about what shops we can hit up next. (This can be even tougher on organized tours, which encourage strict efficiency as they deposit you from one site to the next for a quick photo opp before moving on.) What would happen if you slowed down and took your time? What do you see now that you didn’t before? What can’t be captured by a photo but can be appreciated in the moment? Remember to stay present and appreciate the small moments as much as the bigger ones.
Budget for down time. Whether it’s taking a nap, reading a good book, listening to some music, or just having some alone time away from your traveling companions (who you may love but also very reasonably may need some space from), make sure to budget some downtime into your schedule.
Make sure there’s something for you in the itinerary. When traveling with a group, it’s easy to get swept up in other people’s interests, especially if there’s a type A planner in your group. (Which we love — thanks for planning for us!) If you’re traveling with friends who party more than you, make sure you carve out space for a nap, a visit to a bookstore, or just a night in — whatever feels like vacation to you. If you’re traveling with small children, reserve an afternoon for solo time and plan an adventure you can enjoy on your own. You might take your time exploring a park without hunting for a playground, check out a fancy boutique at your leisure, or even hire a sitter for a date night at a nice restaurant with your partner.
Leave room for spontaneity. When you inevitably get lost and turned around in a new place, don’t rush to find your destination; take it as a chance to explore instead. When the restaurant you’ve been dying to go to doesn’t open until way past your toddler’s bedtime, use this as an opportunity to try a neighborhood spot instead. Give yourself the gift of small moments of spontaneity throughout your trip. These are breathers, invitations to pause — take them.
Embrace your version of vacation — don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Your travel companions may think it’s crazy that you don’t want to go out to eat again, or that you want to wake up at the crack of dawn for that perfect sunrise. Your Instagram feed may be awash with vacation photos that look “better” than yours, whether they’re snapshots of luxe hotels, beach rentals, or urban adventures. How we travel — and how we rest — is very personal. Don’t let others’ experiences or expectations take away from your own. If you love amusement parks, go for it! If all you want to do is lay in a hammock with a good book and not go touristing, do it! Whatever your vacation looks like, let it be yours. You’re the expert on what’s restful for you.

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Stylish sandals with arch support that aren’t slides or flip flop style. Does this exist?!

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I hope you enjoyed the latest episode of my podcast, Rest Easy, with
Cody Cook-Parrott. Our next episode will feature writer and author Mason Currey. Keep an ear out!

💌 Thanks as always for reading along and supporting my work. If you like what you see, hit the heart button, drop a comment, or share this with someone you think will love it, too. You can pre-order my new book or book me for a speaking event here. 💌

How to take an *actually* restful vacation

I did the research so you can relax

💸 Currently coveting

📢 Coming soon

Written by Ximena Vengoechea

How to take an actually restful vacation