A Year of Rest
Happy birthday, Rest Easy
A quick programming note before we get started: If you’re in New York this October, please join me at The Life Audit launch event, where I’ll be signing books on site. You can also preorder a signed copy, ask for it at your local indie, snag it on Bookshop, Amazon Prime it, or request it at your local library. If you preorder, you’re eligible for a giveaway, so don’t forget to sign up for a chance to win a 1–1 life audit session with me here. This book is perfect for new grads, career changers, or anyone facing a crossroads in their lives or wanting to do something different — I really think you’ll love it. OK, on to today’s letter!
This time last year, I was gearing up for the launch of my second book, Rest Easy. Having missed out on an in-person book launch for my first book, Listen Like You Mean It, during the pandemic, I was excited for my first bookstore event. I couldn’t wait to share everything I had learned about why we don’t get the rest we need, and crucially, how we could get more of it.
But I was also feeling unexpectedly, debilitatingly tired. This wasn’t the normal exhaustion you might feel after a coffee crash or a late night at work, or a bad night’s sleep tending to young children. This was far more crippling. But then, I’d been feeling tired for a while, so perhaps I was just stressed.
A few days before my book launch, I noticed I was losing my hair. My high-waisted pants slung low on my hips. Had I lost weight? I began taking multiple naps a day, waking up as exhausted as I’d been before falling asleep.
On the night of my book launch, things were particularly bad. I’d taken several naps already that day, yet still felt bone-crushing tired. Still, I could rally. I put on some blush — I’d been looking paler, I’d noticed — and threw on some lipstick. When I arrived, the adrenaline took over. I did a Q&A, hugged the friends and family who came out to support (love you guys!) and signed some books (real books, not book plates!) This was a night worth celebrating!
The launch event was the last fun thing I did for a while. Once I shepherded Rest Easy out into the world, promotion had to take a backseat. Over the course of the next six months, I would receive a number of diagnoses that explained why I had been feeling so terrible. Without going into specifics, suffice to say that I’m officially in the chronic illness club. (Hello, fellow spoonies!)
When I initially wrote Rest Easy, I was burned out from working multiple jobs at once, emotionally and physically exhausted from navigating the pandemic with a small child without childcare, and likely experiencing the onset of at least some of my chronic illnesses. The techniques in the book helped tide me over for a long time. In fact, it was because I had been taking such good care of myself yet still feeling exhausted that I knew something was really wrong. If learning to rest had been good for me before, I cannot emphasize just how much of a balm these techniques were when I really started to feel ill.
As I struggled to regain my health, I turned to the tools and techniques I’d learned while researching Rest Easy. My body was demanding rest in a way I’d never experienced before, and I had to submit to its needs. I heeded its call and napped as often as I needed to. I asked others in my community for help with my responsibilities, from extending deadlines to help with school pickups. I got a lot of practice setting boundaries and saying no. I read an enormous amount of fiction (readers of this newsletter may have noticed the addition of a recurring book recommendation feature, a direct result of this new, restful habit) — each story transported me far away from my health troubles and brought with it a sense of restful joy and adventure. Eventually, I got the care and medication I needed to stomp out some of my worst symptoms, including my chronic fatigue, which had been the most debilitating of all. As I started to feel better, I looked for other ways to relieve my health stress. I lifted my face to the sun every time I took my dog out for a walk. I listened to calming music (and even bought my first concert tickets in years, because I can actually stay up for showtime again). I signed up for a pilates class, and (miraculously) stuck with it — I finally understood how rest could be active.
One year later, on the eve of Rest Easy’s first birthday, I am stronger, calmer, and feeling exceedingly grateful. Thanks to many of the restful techniques I write about in the book, I’m getting regular exercise, still reading a ton, taking walks, and doing my best not to be a phone zombie. I’m not perfect — I don’t get it right every time. But I am better. And for that, I have to thank modern medicine, supportive friends and family, and a whole lot of rest.
So happy anniversary, Rest Easy, and I hope that you, too, are finding ways to incorporate more rest into your life. No matter where you are in your rest journey, keep going.
I spoke with New York Times bestselling author about how she incorporates rest into her creative life. Jami is the author of 10 (!) books, including the forthcoming A Reason to See You Again, and writes the much-loved writing newsletter Craft Talk.
Ximena: There’s a popular saying that “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.” Creative pursuits, in particular, are often romanticized as something that just happens, as if we are a vessel for our creative ideas that flow effortlessly from our minds to our fingertips. But as any author knows, writing books is a kind of labor, even if you enjoy it. How do you incorporate rest and taking breaks into your creative routine?
Jami: I am pretty bad it, I have to admit! My friends take turns making me promise to go on vacation. I have taken a few this year and it’s been nice but honestly I like to write and it keeps me steady and helps me manage my anxiety, so I’m never completely taking a break from it. I do try to work only five days a week, and, as I’ve gotten older, my body really requires more breaks and stretches and therapy and massages and things like that. So the body forces the breaks and the rest more than the brain does. Although when my brain is done for the day, it is really done. And I do love to sleep, and any nap I take is one without guilt.
I really relate to this! It’s often easier for us to tune in and listen up when our body is doing the talking, not the sometimes rational, sometimes emotional, often overactive mind.
I also spoke with Mason Currey, author of the New York Times bestselling Daily Rituals books and writer of the popular newsletter about what counts as rest. (The perpetual question!)
I was thinking about what qualifies as rest because a lot of my workday, if you were watching me, I don’t think a lot of it would look like work. I mean, I do read a lot as part of my workday. And I do take a lot of breaks. I feel like with writing I’ll be trying to write something and then I’ll kind of hit a mental wall and then I need to do something to kind of take a break but not go too far away from the task. So, you know, it’ll be like, play a stupid game on my phone or water the plants or like, do a few dishes. And so I feel like all day long I’m kind of toggling between focused work and sort of like, hanging out in the vicinity of the work.
I enjoy being in that state that kind of puttering around state. You know, it’s kind of one of my favorite ways to be — kind of an absorbed puttering, you know, thinking things through.
I really love how rest can be so different for all of us. It’s about finding your version of a break that counts.
You can hear more from Mason and the connection between writing and rest in the final episode of Rest Easy, my mini audio series with creatives about rest. Special thanks to and Paola Vengoechea for their help producing this series. I hope you enjoyed it!
- Rest Easy is on sale! You can grab the audiobook for 70% off from now until October 4.
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